ROBOT E LEE WAR JOURNAL: 9th July, 2015 After a week of sweltering heat, the on-board reservoirs that lubricate my internal mechanical workings need replenishment. Unfortunately (and inexplicably, for such an otherwise-advanced mechanical culture) this society suffers from a disturbing lack of merchants who supply fine-filtered kettle-rendered animal tallow. Fortunately, I’ve discovered Slim Jim Maple Flavored Bacon Jerky™, a slightly-less rancid product that when heated and squeezed produces an excretion that serves admirably for the same purpose.